what you want isn’t always right

Yesterday, I saw that Bruce Jenner was on the cover of Vanity Fair as Caitlyn Jenner. Along with that, I’ve seen dozens of articles, statuses, instagram posts, tweets, everything from everyone talking about it. I wouldn’t normally talk about a subject like this, but I have things I feel I should say. I’m blown away with some of the people defending his actions and the arguments they are putting forth. I want to keep this post more about the cases I’ve seen made that don’t make any sense.

                                                                 1| THIS IS WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY                                                                      That is not a reason to do something. There are a lot of people who are happy when they get black out drunk or do drugs, but does that really make it okay? What if it made him happy to have an affair or molest children? Would he be praised like this if it made him happy to kill people and he murdered 50 people? I completely understand wanting to be happy, but just because it makes you happy doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

                                                         2| GOD KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN SO IT’S OKAY                                                           Wrong, very wrong. Murder, rape, alcoholism, addiction, pornography, abuse, the list could go on and on. God knew these things would happen, but that doesn’t make them okay or good or justified. God created us and when he did, we were given free will to make decisions for ourselves. When people choose to sin, it’s not God choice, it’s theirs.

                                                   3| HE FEELS LIKE A WOMAN SO HE SHOULD BE A WOMAN                                                   Not really. This is kind of like the ‘it makes him happy’ defense. Just because you feel like doing something, does not mean you should actually do it! When I was little, there were times I felt like hitting my sister, but if I actually did it I got punished. Recovering alcoholics are tempted to drink, but they know they shouldn’t. Do we praise a recovering alcoholic for falling off the wagon and just giving in. Temptation is everywhere. Temptation is hard. But temptation can be overcome. There are people out there that have been tempted in the same or different ways that have walked away from temptation. Everyone has temptation in their life, that doesn’t mean you should just give in to it.

These are just a few of the arguments I’ve seen made. I’m in no way judging and I have no right to judge nor does anyone else on this earth. If you have sinned(which you have), you cannot judge another sinner. Every sin is equal in the eyes of the Lord. I have great compassion and love for Bruce Jenner as I hope everyone else does.

“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

– Deuteronomy 22:5

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sings and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

– 1 John 1:9

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

-1 Corinthians 10:13

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”

-Romans 3;23

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

– 1 Peter 4:8

my thought of the day

As I sit here at work, putting off everything that needs to be done by scanning through endless statuses, pictures, and links on facebook, I’m amazed. I’m amazed at the amount of articles people share that tell you how you know you have the perfect partner, because honestly they’re all crap.

Let me start off by saying this, if you have to go down a list shared by someone on facebook that you probably haven’t even met to know that you’re with the right person, chances are you probably aren’t with the right person. If you need that assurance to continue with your relationship, get out now. Don’t get me wrong, you may be with the right person and they may hit every mark on that list, but that’s not what’s going to keep you happy. Every person, right or wrong, is going to have good things about them and bad things. We are all human beings. There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ guy or the ‘perfect’ girl.

I know from experience that even if someone doesn’t do any of the things on those lists, they can still be the right one. I’ve also seen people who have done everything on those lists and everything ends horribly. It’s not about lists, or what someone will do for you. It’s what you’re willing to do for them.

Love is not receiving, love is giving. If you’re in a relationship for what the other person does for you, take a step back and really examine that relationship. If you love someone, you shouldn’t just be waiting for them to do that next big thing. You should be thinking about what you can do to make them happy, without them having to do anything for you.

Relationships are hard. They require work. Every day. I’m married to a man who doesn’t do everything that my ‘perfect man’ should. I’m married to a man who has done things that ‘the guy I should get away from’ does. But I love him. And I work on our relationship. And he works on our relationship. We’re both learning and growing, and that isn’t always easy and sometimes we don’t make the right decisions. But that doesn’t mean we should just give up and go look for that ‘perfect’ person! They don’t exist! NO ONE is perfect!

If you are with a person that you accept for who they are and they accept you for who you are, and you put each other first, then who’s to tell you that isn’t your right person. Relationships aren’t just about movie nights, and presents, and remembering special dates. Relationships are about everyday, loving someone unconditionally, no matter what has happened in their past.

My babies…

They get big. They get big really fast! Everyone always says how fast it goes and to treasure your time together, but you don’t realize it until your in that position.  A month, a month can’t possibly go by any faster than a month, right? Wrong! A month feels like a week at our house. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 1/2 month old. I feel like I literally JUST had my oldest! Things go by so fast because I have so many other things to get done besides just sitting and watching my kids grow. I wish that’s all I could. I wish I could sit and just watch them every single day. I feel like I miss out on so much, but I don’t! I’m always with them, ALWAYS!!! I just don’t feel like it’s enough time. I love them so much that no amount of time will ever make my feel like I’ve seen them enough.

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HOMEMADE

Clothes. Blankets. Burp cloths. Bibs. Shoes. EVERYTHING! I love homemade things, who doesn’t. If I could put my children(and myself) in homemade things every day, believe me I would. I’m also obsessed with making all of these things! I love getting my kids dressed and seeing how adorable they can look in things that I made just for them. I love being able to pick out fabrics that don’t necessarily go together but look good on my kids. I love that no one else is going to have exactly what they have on if I make it myself. And it’s easy, to me anyway. I come from a family of women who love to sew. My grandmother made most of my mothers clothes growing up.

I enjoy sewing. It’s my escape. Some people want bubble baths, or to read a book, or take a walk. I LOVE TO SEW. And I love coming up with new things to sew! I love to draw up my own pattern, sew it up, and see how it turns out. Yes, sometimes it’s a disaster!! But how would I know it didn’t work out if I didn’t try it?! Since I love sewing so much, and I only have little boys(love them but there’s TONS of girl things to make), I’ve decided to start working on opening up a shop. I can’t wait to get started!! But until then, making precious boy things will work!

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Happy 21st Birthday Jordan!

Today is my wonderful husband’s 21st birthday! That sounds crazy! It seems so old yet so young at the same time. We are married with two kids, shouldn’t he be older by now?

This man has been such a blessing to me in so many ways. He is an amazing husband to me. When I feel like I’m not strong enough to do something, he shows me that I am. He’s that constant voice of encouragement. He’s an amazing father to our children, and I see that everyday. Our kids look at him like he hung the moon, and to them he did. When I was pregnant, I never would have dreamed he’d be as great as he is.

Today we don’t only celebrate his birthday, we celebrate how lucky we are to have him! It’s all about you today babe!

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November 18, 2013

November 18, 2013 was the day that we welcomed Kayson Paul Lange into this world, but it didn’t go as planned. This was one of the scariest days of my life, and I will never forget it.

I was having to be induced two days before his due date because my body just wouldn’t go into labor by itself. If I could do it over again, I would have waited until at least his due date. We went into the hospital at 5:00 am and went over all the paperwork. They started pitocin at 6:00 am and I was having pretty strong contractions within the hour. By 8:00, it was time to break my water(not pleasant!) and that got things really going! I had my epidural at around 9:30 am and was only dilated to a 4! Not good when I started at a 2 1/2!! At 2:00 pm, I started feeling a lot of pressure and knew something was happening even though they had just checked me and I was still at 4. They came in and told me I was at an 8! I went from 4 to 8 in a matter of 10 minutes!!

That’s when things started going wrong. KP’s heart rate would drop during contractions, but they weren’t too worried because it wasn’t going to far down and would come right back up. Until it drop drastically and wasn’t coming back up. I have never seen so many nurses in one room at the same time! There was so much going on and all I could think to do was pray! I prayed and I prayed! The doctor came in and said they would give him a little more time to see if his heart rate would come up. All I could think was just get him out and get him safe! Well, it only took one more contraction, and she ordered an emergency c section because KP just couldn’t handle it. She figured the cord was wrapped around his neck.

They immediately got Jordan and I prepped to go to the OR. (I’m balling my eyes out the whole time) Everyone kept telling me about how it wouldn’t hurt, and I’d only feel pressure, and so on and so on. Honestly, I didn’t care if I felt anything. They could have cut into me with no pain meds at all! All I wanted was for them to get him out and get him out fast! Of course, they won’t do that. They make sure you can’t feel a thing, and my epidural had already worn off at this point which posed a problem. I had to have a spinal. WORST THING EVER!!!! I went completely numb from my head down! I couldn’t open my eye. I couldn’t talk. I was struggling to breath. I honestly thought I was going to die. I prayed some more! (There was a lot of praying going on that day) Those babies needed me and I wasn’t ready to leave them and apparently God agreed with me.

The time between KP’s heart rate dropping and him being delivered was about 35 minutes. It felt like eternity. The worst feeling in the world is thinking that you may lose your child. I can’t even explain everything that went on and is still going on in my head. I’m just beyond grateful that God allowed him to be here with us today. They discovered the reason his heart rate was dropping is because he was faced up, not down like they are supposed to be when they’re born. I can’t stop myself from wondering if he would have been in a better position if I would have waited until he was ready or until my due date. I wish I would have waited. 

I couldn’t have gotten through this alone! My wonderful, strong husband was by my side the entire time! He handled everything amazingly, which is a good thing since I was a mess! My mother and father were there supporting me and reassuring me that everything would be okay! An amazing family friend who came to take pictures was more of a support person than she even knows! My doctor and nurses were amazing, they honestly felt like family! One last person, my anesthesiologist, you wouldn’t think that he would be must of a support person but I can’t even put into words how much he helped me. I’m not talking about pain management at all. He was genuinely concerned for our well being and did everything he could to make me feel like both of us were safe.

This is still really hard for me to think about. I had such high expectations for the day and everything seemed to be going wrong. I never in a million years thought I would have a c section, but that was the only safe way to get my baby here. I wasn’t the first, second, third, forth person to hold my baby. I was pretty much the last person to hold him and even then I had to have help. I didn’t get to breastfeed right away, which I was adamant about. I wasn’t able to give him his first bath or change his first diaper. A lot of things went the exact opposite of the way I wanted them too, but all that matters is that he’s here, he’s alive, and he’s healthy!

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This man was so strong through everything and I know I couldn’t have done it without his support. I’m more grateful for him than he could ever possibly know.

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Jordan’s first time holding KP.

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Before I could hold him, all I could do was cuddle while Jordan held him to me.

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My first time holding KP.

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My oldest came to visit. I am truly blessed.

the newest little’s nursery..

With my first amazing child, my pregnancy (most of it) was awful! I had every single symptom you can think of plus more! To top it all off, I was put on bed rest at 24 weeks. If you’re bad at math, that equals a total of 16 weeks of bed rest, 4 month. 4 month of nothing but my bed, a tv, and food. So as much as it killed me, I wasn’t able to do his nursery. I was able to watch the process and decide what I wanted, but I couldn’t do the things that I wanted to do with it.

This time around, I feel GREAT! I haven’t even really had any symptoms(not the bad ones anyway), so I’ve decided that this nursery is going to be completely done by me! And my husband of course, but I will be participating! I don’t just mean I’m going to help paint and pick out bedding and all that. No, I will be making every aspect of this nursery! We will have to paint of course, but I will also be making the bedding and curtains and refinishing a dresser!!

I’ve never done anything like this! I used to sew when I was younger, but never anything like this! I’ve done a few projects since I bought my sewing machine last week so hopefully they’ll look decent. I also have never refinished a dresser, so that should be fun! But along the way, I’ve decided to keep track of my progress on here! So in the coming weeks I’ll be posting all about how I’m making different things for the nursery!! Can’t wait to start!

-M